Day 52

Closet Monster

Guy

Monster

Woman

Lights Up

Minimalist bedroom of a twenty something, bedroom door stage right, bed, stage left, closet door back stage, swivel chair in center of room.

Guy enters, walks halfway to the bed, then doubles back and clicks off the light switch, the lights fade down, his hands go out as he works his way to the bed in the dark, knocking against the chair, then making it. He rolls in and pulls the blankets over him.

Pause where Guy goes to sleep

Monster emerges from closet, stands a bit away, looking at Guy. Monster plays with bottle in his hands, walks to the chair. He sits. Beat where he takes a sip from the bottle.

(Monster drinks, winces at the taste and coughs)

Monster: I borrowed this bottle from Basement monster the last time I went he had a party.

(Monster takes a long drink)

Monster: He won’t miss it.

Monster: I don’t get this drunk on Sunday’s, but tonight is special. An anniversary.

(Another drink, rubs his face)

Guy rolls over to face monster.

Monster: There’s my guy. My big guy. (quick drink) Been a little bit huh? Did you miss me?

Beat where Monster looks Guy over.

Monster: I never understood how you could live with yourself all these years. What keeps you going? It isn’t fear-I know. I know that much.

Monster: You’re always sleeping so soundly, dreaming the sweetest things that pink melon can dream up. You probably don’t even remember me. That’s why it will be better.

(Monster takes another sip and coughs)

Monster: I mean you were never the biggest kid I scared, or the smallest. And sometimes I whiffed with you, but, boy-when I could get it right, could you scream. I’d never heard a louder yell than the night you watched that Dalmatian movie with your cousin. You loved it.

(Monster drinks and laughs, pointing to the opposite side of the room)

I stood in the corner for fifteen minutes with Attic monster’s wolf, painted with big black spots, rusty chain swinging around, cackling my head off. You-you couldn’t sleep in your room for a week.

Monster: You never told your parents, but they saw you sleeping in the kitchen. You were terrified.

(Beat)

I used to be so good at that, scaring people. I was so proud of myself.

(Monster shakes the bottle to see how much is left)

I was the best in the business, probably the best in the world. And I always came back here-to you.

(Beat)

And then you learned the secret that they all learned

(He leans forward and runs a hand just over Guy. Guy turns and brings the blanket over his head.)

I can’t touch you with the blanket over your head, Goddamn Pasadena Neutrality Act, ruined it for everybody. Once kids figured it out…

(Beat where Monster takes a drink and coughs again)

Monster: Once kids figured it out, there wasn’t much to do.

(Beat where Monster sits back down)

Monster: It spread everywhere; like rot up a cadaver. The Chinese kid after you figured it out the first week, the Danish girl did the second night, and the South African kid wrapped himself up like a paranoid caterpillar…Everybody…Goddamn Pasadena Neutrality Act… It got so bad I couldn’t even get a claw within swiping distance. And after a while, if you don’t scare anyone, then…Then you don’t get to scare anymore…

(He takes another drink)

Monster: But its not all bad, I’ve been able to go back to my writing.

(Guy snores loudly)

I always liked writing, wanted to do that first, but the family pushed me into scaring. I’ve got this story collection, all about different scares. I write with all the spare time I have now. Nobody is writing from the Ghoul’s point of view you know? Nobody’s writing for ME.

(Guy Snores again.)

I know the publishing industry is shot, but it’s better than withering away, being forgotten. That’s what tonight is all about, coming back to where one belongs.

(Monster drink again. And woman(?) enters, taking slow footsteps in the dark towards Monster.)

Monster: I’m sorry, I’ve been talking all night, that’s not what I came to do.

(Monster drinks)

Monster: But you were the last person I ever scared (laughs) The last person whose eyes lit up when they saw me. There was fear there, yes, but something else. What we had was…exciting…fantastic. Maybe I’m being too nostalgic, and I know its been a while, but…

Woman: What are you doing?

Monster blinks and drunkenly turns

Monster: hmmm?

Woman: You can’t keep coming back here. You’re drunk, Monster.

(Woman puts a hand on Monster)

Woman: How many more times are you going to stumble into our bedroom.

(Monster stares at Guy)

Monster: It wasn’t always your bedroom. You weren’t the first one.

Woman: This isn’t healthy. For him or you. You’re drunk-

Monster: I’m not that drunk.

(Woman sighs)

Woman: I think you know its time to go.

Monster: But tonight-

Woman: We’ve talked about this.

(Monster pauses, still looking at Guy as Woman helps him to his feet and begins to walk him to the closet)

Woman: C’mon

(Monster tries to shrug her off)

Monster: Wait

Woman: This is not healthy, for either of you. We’ve talked about this.

Monster: I said wait, give me a minute.

(They look at one another)

Monster: I need to. It’s the anniversary.

(Beat)

Woman: Will you leave after?

Monster: I promise.

(Woman drops her arms and lets him walk to the bed.)

(Monster stands over the bed, smiling. Pause. Monster leans forward, getting ready to scare, his face contorting into a snarl, then shaking out of it and standing still again. He laughs under his breath and takes another drink. He goes back to Woman, who holds the door to the closet open for him.)

Monster: If he asks I was just drunk. Tell him—

Woman: Please, you promised.

(Beat, monster takes one last look at Guy, then Woman closes the door on him. Woman walks back to the bed, sitting on the edge. She smiles, bends low, now bearing large teeth and clears his hair away from his neck. Guy rolls in his sleep and brings the covers over his head again. Woman closes her mouth and stares for a moment. She gets up and walks to the chair, watching Guy, arms crossed.)

Lights Down.