Day 45

Closet Monster

Guy

Monster

Woman

Lights Up

Minimalist bedroom of a twenty something, bedroom door stage right, bed, stage left, closet door back stage, swivel chair in center of room.

Guy enters, walks halfway to the bed, then doubles back and clicks off the light switch, the lights fade down, his hands go out as he works his way to the bed in the dark, knocking against the chair, then making it. He rolls in and pulls the blankets over him.

Pause where Guy goes to sleep

Monster emerges from closet, stands a bit away, looking at Guy. Monster plays with bottle in his hands, and walks to the chair, he sits. Beat where he takes a sip from the bottle.

Monster: Its hard to talk.

Its been good, in the past, with you.

You were a good human to scare, and…

And we haven’t seen each other in years, but, but you how it is. Fondness grows with distance, humans say that right?

(Guy rolls over in his sleep)

Monster smiles

Monster: There’s my Guy.

Pause, monster sighs and takes another drink

Monster: I never used to get this drunk before Sunday.

Beat

Monster: But…Its just never felt right ever since, you know, “the fight”, where you beat me. It never felt right with anyone else.

Beat, Guy snores

Monster: And I know it hasn’t been the same for you, I mean, look how soundly your sleeping. Not a care in the world, dreaming of the sweetest thing that pink melon can dream up.

Beat

How can you live with yourself? What keeps you going?

Beat, Monster takes another sip and coughs

I remember, I remember way back when you were six. You had a thing for dalmations, watching that Disney movie too many times, it was basement monster that tipped me off. So, you remember, I pulled a few strings and got that white wolf painted with black spots, and that big rusty chain around its neck, and me laughing and laughing in the corner of your bedroom, for what must have been fifteen minutes.

Beat

It got you so good that you couldn’t sleep anywhere but the kitchen for a week. Never told your parents, but they knew.

Beat

I used to be so good at that, scaring people. I was so proud of myself.

Monster shakes the bottle to see how much is left

I was the best in the business, probably the best in the world

Beat

And then you learned the secret that they all learn

He leans forward and runs a hand just over Guy

I can’t touch you with the blanket over your head, God damn Pasadena Neutrality Act, ruined everything for all the monster. Once kids figured it out…

Beat where Monster takes a drink and coughs again

Its been rough, for a long while. And you were my last. Isn’t that funny? (Beat) You were my last ever, fucking Pasadena Neutrality Act spread like rot up a dead guy’s pecker. The Chinese kid after you figured it out, so did the Danish girl, and the South African…Everybody. It got so bad I couldn’t get a claw within swiping distance of a bedpost. And after a while, if you don’t scare anyone, then…Then you don’t get anymore…

(He takes another drink)

But its not all bad, you know. I’ve been getting back into writing.

Guy snores loudly.

Yeah, I’ve been trying to get a collection published. Theres not much to do in the daylight for me now, so I write, I got this type writer and I sit down in my cellar behind the abandoned courthouse and I write stories. A collection. A short story collection of my past. I think it has real potential. Basement monster likes them too.

Monster plays with the bottle

Nobody is telling it from the Ghoul’s point of view. Nobody’s talking to ME, you know?

Guy snores loudly again.

I know the publishing industry is shot, but there’s always hope right? I think so. Its better than wither away like Attic Monster.

I’m sorry, but you’ve lost it big guy. Let me take a drink for you.

Monster drinks again.

Pause.

I’m sorry that I came. But I feel like I need to. Everybody needs an ear to pull, everybody, even me.

(The door cracks open and Women slowly enters, taking slow footsteps in the dark)

Monster: I’m sorry

Monster drinks

Monster: You were the last person I ever scared, the last person whose eyes lit up when they saw me. And there was fear there, yes, but there was energy too. What we did was…exciting…fantastic…Maybe I’m being too nostalgic. I know its been a while, but, would you ever…would…

Woman (quiet but stern): You can’t keep doing this

Monster blinks and drunkenly turns

Monster: hmm?

Woman: You can’t keep coming back drunk. You wander in, decades old enough to know better...He doesn’t deserve this.

Woman puts a hand on Monster

Woman: How many more times are you going to stumble into our bedroom?

Monster stares at Guy

Woman: I think you know its time to go.

Monster: I know, I’m just drunk, I’m just-

Woman: There’s not an excuse. You know it.

Monster: (beat) I know.

Woman helps him to his feet and begins walking him to the closet

Woman: C’mon.

Monster tries to shrug her off

Monster: Wait.

Woman: This is not healthy, for either of you. We’ve talked about this.

Monster: I said wait, give me a minute.

Beat

Woman: You’ll leave after?

Monster nods

Woman drops lets him walk to the bed.

Monster stands over the bed.

Long Pause, Monster laughs under his breath and takes another drink. He goes back to Woman, who holds the door to the closet over for him.

Monster: If he asks I was just drunk. Tell him--

Woman: Please, you promised.

Beat, monster enters and Woman closes the door behind him. Woman walks slowly back to the bed in the dark, gets in, Guy and Woman settle, his arms around her.

Beat

Guy: He came back again didn’t he?

Woman: Go back to sleep.

End.