Day 38

I wrote this and I feel bad about it. Like really bad. If anybody has any feelings on this go ahead and tell me. Its not finished, but I just had to stop for a little bit. I might keep going later.

Mouth

Scene

(The setting is a living room, furnishes spare, there is a coffee table mid stage with a jacket laying atop it. There is a couch with a pillow and blankets kicked off to one at the back of the stage. Stage right is a window with the curtains drawn in, and stage right a door (bathroom), closed, with the sound of running water emanating from it. )

Guy enters the living room, he walks across stage and opens the curtains. As the curtains open Guy covers his nose and turns away, sneezing twice. He walks to the coffee table where a coat is laying flat open. He studies it for a moment and then picks it up by an arm and red dust shakes out. He drops the coat.

Guy: Mark!

Guy walks to the bathroom door and bangs on it.

Guy: Mark, what the fuck did you do?

(The water sound stops).

Mark (offstage): You don’t need to yell.

Guy: I think I do. What did you do with it?

Mark: I didn’t mean to!

Guy tries the handle and tugs hard.

Guy: Mark, what the fuck, we said we wouldn’t fuck each other over on this.

Mark: I didn’t do anything!

Guy takes a step back.

Guy: come out so we can talk. I don’t want to yell at the bathroom.

Mark: I think this is better.

Guy: I swear to God if you’re trying to hide it in there, or flush it, I’ll kill you. We promised that we wouldn’t screw each other on this! Could you not be a pussy for once in your life?

Mark comes to the door and opens it a crack enough to peak out.

Mark: I’m not a fucking pussy!

Guy tugs at the door but Mark holds it back

Guy: Then come out and show it to me.

Mark: I don’t have it.

Guy: Bullshit!

He tugs on the door

Guy: Its not on the table and I didn’t take it, so you have it.

Mark: I don’t have it anymore!

Guy tries to pry his fingers into the gap but Mark pulls it shut and locks it again.

Guy: We promised, Mark. What the fuck, we were supposed to go on daytime t.v. shows with this. We were supposed to be famous. As big as Oprah. The Averett Brothers, superstars.

Pause

Voice: I think you should just tell him.

Mark: Shut up!

Guy pounds on the door then puts his ear to it.

Guy: Who the fuck was that?

Mark: No one

Voice: I don’t think I deserve to be disregarded like that.

Mark: Shut up!

Voice: I don’t shout when you’re talking.

Guy: What…What’s going on?

Beat

Mark: Well, you remember how last night was fucked up?

Guy: Yeah

Voice: Yeah

Mark: Please, shut up. (Beat) Well, some of it rubbed off on me.

Voice: (Laughs) Oh, that’s funny.

Mark: Shut up, please, shut up, you’ve been talking all night.

Guy: Mark, I want you to come out and explain or I’ll break the door down

Mark: Guy please wait.

Guy takes a step back and stands read to charge the door.

Guy: 1

Mark: Please, hey.

Voice: He sounds serious.

Guy: 2

Mark: Wait!

Voice: You should probably go out there.

Guy: 3

Guy runs for the door and Mark opens it and he stops just before bowling him over. Guy shoves him aside and Mark walks out into the living room, as Guy scours the bathroom.

Guy: Where is he? Did you let him out the window? I swear to god, Mark, this was a secret.

Voice: No

Guy stops and walks to right next to Mark

Guy: What the fuck is going on?

Mark gestures to the coach

Mark: Sit down, and we’ll talk about it.

Beat where Guy turns and sits down, arms crossed

Mark: Well, what we found last night wasn’t a meteor.

Guy: Then what was it?

Voice: Spaceship

Guy: Who the fuck is talking?

Mark pauses, looks at Guy, then looks down at his stomach.

Voice: You should just tell him already. It’s really hot.

Mark: Fine. Guy, brace yourself.

(Mark lifts up his shirt and where his navel should be is an almost human face, its lips wide, it, blinks it eyes and works its flat mouth. )

Guy slowly stands up and advances towards Mark watching the face. The face watches back. Mark tries not to look at either of them. Guy gets within a few feet of the face.

Voice: Hi.

Guy takes a step back.

Guy: Mark, why do you have a face on your belly?

Voice (Mouth): My name is Mouth.

Guy: You gave it a name?

Mark: It named itself.

Guy bends down to look at Mouth, Mouth smiles, then brings himself back up to Mark

Guy: Did you eat it?

Mark: No, I just touched it. And then I started to feel weird, I thought it was the beer, but then I went to the bathroom and well, he started talking. I’ve been up all night trying to figure out if I was nuts or not.

Mouth: You’re not nuts, you’re just a host to my consciousness.

Mark: He’s been saying that a lot.

Guy, gets down to a knee to talk to Mouth

Guy: What do you mean?

Mouth: You guys found my brain pod, it held my consciousness, something sent it off course, and I ended up here. Brain pods aren’t stable though, so I jumped to Mark.

Mark: And I really appreciate it.

Mouth: Hey, I don’t want to be your talking belly button. Maybe you shouldn’t go around grabbing big red shiny things that fell from space.

Guy: Hey! (Guy stands up again and smiles) I don’t think we should be so upset about this.

Mark: Really?

Guy: Hey, think about it, this is better than a moon rock. You’ve got a talking stomach Mark. Think about how much daytime television we could get on! Who wouldn’t want to cover a story like this. This is ten times more exotic!

Mark: Guy, you don’t have a fucking alien inside of you. You have any idea how weird this feels?

Mouth: I want you to know you don’t feel to great either. When was the last time you even thought about exercise?

Mark: Shut up! Guy, I don’t want to be a freak.

Guy: You sure? It could be good, there could be money.

Mark: No, no I don’t want it.

Mouth: I don’t want to do it, if anyone cares.

Guy sighs

Guy: All right, (he looks at Mouth) What do we have to do?

Mouth: Well, my transport is dusted so, I need to get beamed back.

Mark: Beamed?

Mouth: Yeah, you guys have a microwave?